lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
