trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
