I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
