This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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