You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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