Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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