apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
