mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize