Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your penis caused this!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
