Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
