Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
