i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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