OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
