Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
