Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
