He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
