It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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