well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
