Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
