btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
