Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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