nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize