I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
