I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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