I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
worst night to have a conscience
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
