I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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