just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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