Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
