Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
