he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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