She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
