Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
