your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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