you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
