Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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