she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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