is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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