It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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