you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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