Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
