last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
