The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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