After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
