Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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