its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
