We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
