Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
