I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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