Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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