Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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