Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
