Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize