She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
