Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
