i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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