yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
