i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
