Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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