Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
