i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
