yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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