you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
