I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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