new low.... made out with someone while peeing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize