That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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