it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
