What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
