Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
