We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
