Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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